Eighties Cereal

I was asked to write a compare and contrast essay for one of my classes. My classmates were choosing topics such as Mac vs. PC, Yoga vs. Meditation, Soccer vs. Football and this list goes on. However, I decided to dig deep within my soul to find a topic that has perplexed me for a few years now. One that is really near and dear to reasons of who I am today. I even sacrificed my health for the sake of properly researching this topic, so my readers could truly feel I did my homework. I decided to bring to light a taboo little gem that most youngsters today have no clue existed. I chose to write about how the experience of eating cereal today SUCKS in comparison to the cereal we had available back in the 80’s (and even before that). The amount of cereal I consumed for this paper almost put me into a diabetic coma. But hey, you do what you have to for the sake of making a VALID point. It also left me feeling completely excited that I grew up during a time before parents stopped taking responsibility for being a disciplinarian and just choose to sue cereal giants for their kids being overweight.

So please, sit back, grab a bowl of Fruit Loops and have a read. You’ll be awoken to some 80’s nostalgia you had no clue your brain still had a full compartment of. I’ve attached photos at the end of some of those cereals and even some of the kick ass toys that were once buried beneath the sugary kibble.

Cereal Is an Experience

As consumers stroll down the cereal aisle in this day and age, they might find it hard to narrow down their choices from what seems like a pretty hefty selection. There are many different styles to choose from, and that can become puzzling. However, back in the eighties when I was a kid, the selection was twice what it is today and ten times better to choose from. This is one of the many differences that make the experience of eating cereal today less enjoyable than it was in the eighties.

Those who were a kid in the eighties and were allowed by their parents to pick out their cereals know that aisle was their own personal heaven. Boxes were splashed with eye-catching colorful artwork that displayed various kinds of Saturday morning cartoons, blockbuster hit movie characters, and superhero icons. No matter what contemporary Saturday morning cartoon one might have been obsessed with, chances of a cereal being made after it were very high. There was this spectacular way that the boxes were graphically designed to catch a kid’s eye from halfway down the aisle. The vibrant colors danced around and would follow any unsuspecting person like moving eyes on a painting. In the eighties one can even remember a special edition Ghost Busters Cereal that had a moving 3-D hologram sticker of the popular ghost Slimmer placed into the center of the box. Nowadays, the designs of cereal boxes are boringly tame and are barely a whisper of their eighties’ counterparts. There aren’t many eye catching characters luring anyone into their tempting worlds of cereal goodness. The font barely clings to the box like a dying leaf on a tree branch in the fall. The cereal aisles of today in comparison to those of the eighties are just shy of having wild-wild-west tumbleweeds bouncing aimlessly up and down them.

Like its graphics, entertainment of today’s cereal is nothing comparable to the toy prizes, puzzles and games from the cereal of the eighties. In the eighties, we could spend countless hours taking turns as to which activity from the back of the cereal box would occupy our time as the cereal turned into a soggy mush. There were mazes to be explored, word puzzles to be solved, and completely obvious shapes that pretended to blend into the artwork on the back of the box that begged to be found. I have to admit, I feel sorry for those today who have to eat their Honey Nut Cheerios without the luxury of being able to play the puzzle game, Atari Asteroids, on the back of their cereal boxes the way we privileged ones were able to do so back in the eighties. Not to mention the oh-so-tempting excellent toy prizes that were buried and twisted within the crunchy cereal bits waiting to be claimed by whoever got to them first. There were many squabbles amongst siblings in the eighties over who got to the keep the cereal’s toy prize because generally there was only one per box.  Sometimes when you purchased a box of Sugar Smacks, you would find immersed within the cereal morsels a secret decoder ring that helped crack the code of a mystery on the back of the box.  I personally loved when my favorite cereal, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, was giving away free Ninja Turtle bowls with each purchase of their cereal. I never felt cooler than when I ate the cereal of my favorite cartoon out of a cereal bowl in the shape of the Ninja Turtle, Donatello. Today, kids would be lucky if their favorite cereal box told them more than just the inadequate fiber facts located on the top right-hand corner.

Another contrast between cereals then and now is the topic of nutrition, which dominates so much of the discussion about cereals and other foods today. As childhood obesity in America began to rise, so did the shame for buying and eating these sugary cereals. Parents were quick to blame the cereal moguls for peddling and preying upon their children with free toy prizes and childhood favorite cartoon characters. These same parents claimed that these overly sugary cereals were a significant reason as to why children of today were and are on a fast track to becoming morbidly obese. Also, it wasn’t only the average, health conscious parents that began to rise up and demand that these cereals stay away from their kids. Celebrity parents, such as Michelle Obama, began a campaign called “Let’s Move!” as a way to bring awareness to help raise children of today in a much healthier way. Let’s face it. There’s no room on a food pyramid for the sugary cereals that claim they’re loaded with high fiber, rich in calcium, and ten essential nutrients. However, the last time I remember, it’s the parents that are ultimately the ones buying the food for the children. I’ve personally never seen a child holding a parent at gunpoint in the cereal aisle demanding that they get their Cap N’ Crunch.  The cereals of today compared to cereals in the eighties definitely have far less sugar. Cereals in the eighties were never there to trick anyone as being the most healthy breakfast choice. This was a known fact and no one was trying to sue the cereal kingpins for deceiving the children back in the eighties.

Sugary cereals have been around since the fifties, and only until recently have they been mercilessly blackmarked as one of the biggest causes for childhood obesity in America. I can remember when I was growing up, my family always had at least three different kinds of boxes of sugary cereal sitting in the cupboard. We also had a pantry filled with lots of two liter soda bottles. However, our sugar intake was monitored by my health conscious and concerned parents. We were only allowed to have soda on special occasions, and all candy was limited. Our favorite cereals were probably the only thing not monitored in my household because all other sugar intake was. We were also highly encouraged and pressed to get out of the house to stay fit and active. Now, I can hear all the naysayers when they bring to light that not all children have parent at home to watch them as they go out and play. I can honestly reply I didn’t either. Both of my parents worked. My siblings and I were latchkey kids.  After school, we let ourselves into the house to get a snack of our choice. We were then allowed to play outside for one hour, and afterwards we had to go inside to do our homework. My parents made sure that our meals were always balanced and nutritious. Also, our lunches were always packed every day with the four basic food groups so that we weren’t tempted to eat the not-so-healthy food from the school cafeteria. Personally, I don’t blame the sugary cereals; I blame today’s parents of the young cereal eaters.

There are many reasons as to why the experience of eating cereal today is nothing compared to the way it was in the eighties. It’s unfortunate that so many people of today don’t get to wake up, watch their favorite Saturday morning cartoons, and eat a bowl of their favorite cereal that just so happens to be the character they’re currently watching. Today, cereal boxes barely tell anything more than the “nutritional” facts, much less give a fun word puzzle to solve. America is overweight and out of shape due to many reasons. However, to place the majority of the blame on sugary cereal is just ridiculous. Even though those overbearing health conscious parents took away my own personal enjoyment of being able to find a toy prize in my morning cereal, I’m at least very thankful that I had the awesome experience of being able to grow up in the eighties when cereal eating was truly an experience.

by: Star Dell’Era ©

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Man of Steel=The REAL Deal ‘REVIEW’

My critiquing of this movie is based upon many factors that I think some of the other superhero movies lacked (Batman, Iron Man, etc.). I promise, no spoilers in this post.

Within the first 5 minutes, action erupts and doesn’t let-up throughout the entire movie. The character interpretation and development is amazing, bold and long overdue. This is a movie with an amazing selection of “A” list actors (that which they didn’t even show them all in the trailers) and yet an even more amazing “unknown” leading actor. This movie evoked MANY emotions people experience throughout a lifetime, but appropriately and strategically awoke them ALL in only 2 1/2 hours. And most importantly, they added just enough humor to keep a comedian pleased.

None of those other movies I love so dearly (i.e. Iron Man, Batman, or the Avengers) truly encapsulated my entire attention from the beginning to end the way Man of Steel did. Batman Begins is definitely only a hair behind it though!

So, I don’t understand what all the harsh criticism is about. I’m a lover of the originals just as much as the next gal, but it was beyond time that Superman deserved some much needed, how shall I put it, STEEL BALLS. He’s freakin’ Superman! And there’s just something about the older movies that (as much as I LOVED Christopher Reeves playing him) made Superman still too much of a pushover. Not anymore my friends. Not anymore.

(There is much more I’d like to elaborate on to back up my opinions regarding why I like this Superman better than the other heroes… but like I said, No spoilers here.)

In the mean time…

Per usual, I have let some time build since my last blog. As I have admitted earlier I’m not the best at keeping up and writers-block strikes more often than not. So, if you’d stay up to date during the “down-times” you can now keep up through Instagram without having to have it on your phone.
(Click here)
Star on Instagram

If that doesn’t work then here is the full link.
http://instagram.com/sdellera

In the mean time please take into consideration voting for my cat, Mr. Bailey Cakes, to be President in 2016.

That is all for now. Carry on.

Happy Halloween!

Hallow’s Eve. It was once a time when I could remember on this day, looking the scariest resulted in not only cool bragging rights, but also a sack full of delicious, cavity-induced goodness. With the exception of the crap candy like plain suckers, candy corn and Raisinettes. Who the f#*k wants Raisinettes  for a Halloween Treat?!
And don’t reply to this post if your head is screaming, “MEEEE!”

 

Nowadays, Halloween has become the (inter)National Pimps and Ho’s Day. It’s no longer grabbing an old sheet, cutting out two eye holes and calling it a day. Noooo, now it’s about what childhood classic icons can chicks slut up this year? And ladies I’ll let you in on a little secret… If the outfit ALREADY resides in your closet, it’s NOT a Halloween Costume. It’s a part of your every day attire. Ho.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love sluts and ho’s just as much as the next gal. But, when I see chicks sluttin’ up Nemo, The Ninja Turtles, Sherlock Holmes and Elmo… I gotta draw a line. Like I said, not because I don’t like seeing some extra skin, but more for the fact that it proves a lack of creativity. ANYTHING can be slutted up.

I’m more impressed with those that stick to the traditional thought-provoking Halloween attire that says, “I’m a scary, ugly f%*k that will eat your brains out and haunt you in your sleep!”
Not some chick that I need to worry about possibly contracting one of her STD’s due to standing too closely to her lack of clothing.

And with all that said, I hope you kids have a Happy Halloween. I’m also going to be so self-indulgent as to share with you some of my old stand-up comedy on this very subject.

Enjoy. Or don’t.

Awesome 80’s Run- Done Son!

There truly must be a change in the winds and it’s not just the anticipated arrival of Hurricane Sandy. Not only did I complete the Awesome 80’s 5k Run in a new personal best record of 36:49 (not AS much of a slowpoke as normal), I am also writing yet another blog before the year 2013.
Wow. Blows the mind.

Here are some things I learned from this most recent 5k.
#1.) I (truly) hate running.

I know what you’re thinking. “Star, then WHY in the hell are you doing it?”
Other than wanting to accomplish a “goal” that I have set, I have NO CLUE why I’m doing it?! I see all the others running, delightfully chatting with their running buddies and all I can think about is NOT passing out and falling flat on my face. I even LOOK miserable when I’m running. All I think about is how badly I want it to end so that I can go home and get in bed.

#2.) Some people take the Awesome 80’s Run TOO seriously.

And yes, I’m meaning YOU, the chick that went speeding by in what could have been a bathing suit (at 7:40am in 53 degree weather), as you chucked YOUR own personal, plastic, water bottle into the dirt and grunted grossly. I’m mean, who’s supposed to pick that up for you? Were you going to return to your abandoned water bottle once you blew past all of us fun-trotters? Or is that just YOUR move? You grunt/chuck your water bottle about 500 yards from the finish line in order to show us your dominance? Cause now all I can think about is how that stupid water bottle of yours is just sitting in the cold dirt wondering what it ever did to you.

#3.) It’s totally OK to lose ALL bodily control when running. It’s totally natural for people to run past you farting uncontrollably, burping like Barney from the Simpson’s and blowing snot rockets into the wind so that the lucky bastards around them get to bask in their spray.

With all of that said, there was one piece in the end that I liked. There was a girl quietly standing not far from the finish line with a sign that read, “Don’t think. Just Run.” It was at that moment I realized that THAT very bit of advice not only would have been better at the BEGINNING of the f*%king run, but it was the very thing that kept holding me back. I thought waaaaay too much.

So for any of you other crazy people that might enter any 5k’s, I hope that you might read this and either chuckle or just take the advice I will now keep with me for any future 5k’s I might enter, “Don’t think. Just Run.”

Tootles,
Starbutt

Repition is for peeps with OCD…

Yeah well, it’s been a minute since my last blog. And all that time and space just reaffirms why I could never be a “true” blogger. I have the attention span of a gnat and the life-excitement of a sloth. Now, if only I blogged when I was in my early twenties whacked out on…. you know what… I won’t go there. Let’s just say I used to eat A LOT of candy. And too much candy is bad for you. Bad, bad, bad.

So, what have I been up to? School. That about sums it up! And somehow in the meantime I “kinda” took up entering 5k runs. Now, before we all go judging a skinny, 105lb, 5’3 book by its cover, let me clear up some things. I don’t like to run, workout or do any of those other kinds of ridiculous forms of staying healthy activities. EXCEPT, for martial arts (which I’m not currenttly practicing). And I don’t do that to stay healthy. I do it for the simple fact that I envision myself kicking the majority of the people I meet in the head. Annnnd having someone willingly put a padded helmet on and allow me to do so is, AWESOME! And yes, if you’re over 6’1, I can kick you in the head. My boss let me prove that to him the other day.
What a GREAT boss! Am I right?!

I digress.

SOOO, I only took up this ridiculous new “hobby” for the simple fact that I was acting like a girl. Yes, I know, you might have been confused. But what I mean is that I was acting like a typical chick. I know, it’s not making much sense so let me give a quick recap.

My girlfriend (and yes I mean the girl whom which I “prefer” to be with, because I’m waiting until Mitt Romney gets elected president so I can get an opening for me at the lobotomy clinic as to cure me of this dirty little “choice” some call, lesbianism)… Ahem… So, my girlfriend is a runner…. And I’m not talking a person that goes out jogging here and there. Or that person that just likes to Forest Gump it every now and then. This chick RUNS! I mean like runs and wins races and sh*t.

Soo, she put something out on Facebook one day about wanting someone to accompany her on this thing called, The Fun Run, that RoadRunner Sports does every 3rd Thursday of the month. You run to certain checkpoints, receive a raffle ticket and in the end win tons of cooooool stuff. Someone had commented that they would like to go, but they knew they couldn’t keep up with her. She then told them that they could also walk it if they wanted. So, ME being the girl I am that doesn’t mind walking and LOVES free cool stuff got all butt-hurt that she didn’t think to tell me when it came to this fun, lil adventure.

Sooo, what does one do when they’re all butt-hurt… they act like a girl, get pouty about not being invited to accompany her girlfriend on this “Fun” run. Soo, what does the girlfriend say when confronted by said whiner… “I know how much you hate running and pretty much any other form of physical activity, so I thought you wouldn’t want to go…?”

Damn her and her correctness!

So, what does said whiner now have to do since she’s committed herself to a tantrum that now has her girlfriend feeling bad, you ask??? She plays it off like she’s offended and doesn’t realize that in the process she’s signing her name on the dotted line of a 5k “Fun” Run.

F#%K! What did I get myself into?!

So, fast forwarding to the day of the run… I had a long day at work, my girlfriend was SUPER excited that I had somehow still stayed committed to the “Fun” run. At the stroke of 6pm they sent us our secret map via email, dropped down a map at which we could snap some photos of and we were on our way. It was a VERY HOT August day and I couldn’t believe I didn’t come down with a sudden case of bullshit that impaired me from running. Somehow I stood strong and firm to the whiner I created and was committed to proving to my girlfriend, I too can “run”.

Well…. about half a friggin block into it my girlfriend realizes grannies on walkers have lapped us and her elastic body is seizing from the agonizing snail pace that only I am capable of easily trotting. She then says to me, “You know,?! I bet I could hit ALL the check points and get us lots of raffle tickets….!!!”

It was then I knew what was about to happen. I was getting ditched! I didn’t even argue, because it was me being a damn chick that got me into this hell in the first place. Plus I quickly thought about how the beer garden wasn’t too far back and I’d already received my 1 free beer raffle ticket. So I exasperated, “Just go… I’m fine…. I’ll make it…..” And like a cartoon flash of lightning… she WENT!

There I was in the back of the pack with the other slow-asses… Trotting along, somehow still moving forward and not backwards. I ended up befriending another slowpoke that became a “running” partner in crime. She motivated me and kept me going. She too was ditched, by her 17-year-old son. We had THAT in common.

I ended up “running” 3.7 miles that day. I only made it to three checkpoints, but ended up with 10 raffle tickets. My Mighty Mouse of a girlfriend made it to ALL the checkpoints (as we knew she would) in the same amount of time it took me to do 3 and pulled in 16 raffle tickets. I was able to gain as many as I did by jumping into a pool, yelling out a secret code word, catching a water balloon without it popping and traded my beer ticket for a regular raffle ticket. In the end neither of us won jack sh*t!

HOWEVER, something had sparked within me. And I also believe within the both of us together as a couple. Even though I got ditched, we had a blast waiting and hoping someone would call out one of our raffle tickets. Since then we did the American Heart Association 5k run and tomorrow we are going to be Ninja Turtles in the Awesome 80’s run!

I know what you’re thinking… Hell must have frozen over because Star is running without having a gun pointed at her head. Doode, I know. It blows my mind too. So, I’m excited to be able to show y’all some photos after tomorrow’s Awesome 80’s 5k. 🙂 I hope all is well with you and I’ll hopefully be posting another blog before the year 2013.

Stay thirsty my friends.

~starburtt~

Let’s just say I am a little bit, SLOW.

Hello All!

I have recently stumbled up this website within the world-wide-web that I like to “Nerd-Out” on. I’m sure some of you are laughing at my ability to JUST NOW find this site,. For those I say to you’s, “HUSH YO MOUFS.”
It has really helped me come to a more precise decision as to just what I will be buying the next time I step into a comic book store.

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=archive&type=user_review&id=0&offset=0&v=g&sort=dateadded+desc

Please feel free to guide me to other cool, nerdy places I could go get my geek-on at. It would be MUCH appreciated. Also feel free to send me to any destination that is, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

And in the mean time, here is a photo of me, happy, with a vat of coffee from my co-worker. And I truly think they should consider changing the size name to the above mentioned. If I were to drink this entire thing not only will I be pissing like a racing horse, I think a heart attack would rapidly follow.

That is all. Carry on…..
:0p