Hallow’s Eve. It was once a time when I could remember on this day, looking the scariest resulted in not only cool bragging rights, but also a sack full of delicious, cavity-induced goodness. With the exception of the crap candy like plain suckers, candy corn and Raisinettes. Who the f#*k wants Raisinettes for a Halloween Treat?!
And don’t reply to this post if your head is screaming, “MEEEE!”
Nowadays, Halloween has become the (inter)National Pimps and Ho’s Day. It’s no longer grabbing an old sheet, cutting out two eye holes and calling it a day. Noooo, now it’s about what childhood classic icons can chicks slut up this year? And ladies I’ll let you in on a little secret… If the outfit ALREADY resides in your closet, it’s NOT a Halloween Costume. It’s a part of your every day attire. Ho.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love sluts and ho’s just as much as the next gal. But, when I see chicks sluttin’ up Nemo, The Ninja Turtles, Sherlock Holmes and Elmo… I gotta draw a line. Like I said, not because I don’t like seeing some extra skin, but more for the fact that it proves a lack of creativity. ANYTHING can be slutted up.
I’m more impressed with those that stick to the traditional thought-provoking Halloween attire that says, “I’m a scary, ugly f%*k that will eat your brains out and haunt you in your sleep!”
Not some chick that I need to worry about possibly contracting one of her STD’s due to standing too closely to her lack of clothing.
And with all that said, I hope you kids have a Happy Halloween. I’m also going to be so self-indulgent as to share with you some of my old stand-up comedy on this very subject.
Enjoy. Or don’t.
Star is a Nerd! 